(GUEST POST BY MR. VARUN TEJA)
Greek Philosopher Plato once said that “Love is a serious mental disease”. It is something
which is difficult to deny. Most of the people in this world would want to love someone or be loved by someone at some point in their life. It is a good feeling to have in one’s life. We see in movies how a boy and a girl love each other and stay together till the end despite all their problems. They show how a girl leaves her wedding to be with the one she loves or a boy leaving a job for his lady love. It feels good to see when a love story comes to a happy ending and we all wish that the same thing happens to us. But very few movies show the harsh reality or the other side of the coin. Happy endings may not happen all the time.
Breakups are the other side of love. The pain of a breakup is more than the good feeling we have when we love someone. Love can make you or break you. When someone loves a person more than anyone, it is hard to understand their pain when that person is not in his/her life. Heartbreak is one of the most painful thing that can happen to someone (always next to the pain of someone’s death). Even though it is mutual, both the boy and the girl are affected by it.
It is more painful when it is not mutual. Breakups should always be a mutual decision, same like getting into a relationship. It is wrong to end the relation without trying to find a solution.
Sometimes breaking up might be the last option but it is unfair to end it when there is a
solution. This pain can lead to many problems for that person. Many people get addicted to alcohol to decrease their pain or people who are emotionally weak quite a few times take a wrong decision of ending their life. Rebound relationship is another way of trying to get over a breakup. But none of them works as it is difficult to forget a person with whom you share a lot of memories. Memories are the worst part of a breakup. People post breakup quite often have mood swings. This happens because of the memories which flashes in their mind when they re-experience a situation. The memories which once brought a smile on his/her face now becomes a nightmare to that person.
According to a research from the Binghamton University and University College London,
women initially struggle with a breakup but men face more difficulty in getting over it in the long run. It is also a known fact that boys are emotionally weak when compared to girls. Hence a boy is bound to face more difficulty than a girl in getting over a breakup (wish boys had the ability to forget someone faster, similar to the way they fall in love quickly).
It hurts more when the person who left is with someone else. It is common to feel bad when you know that the person whom you loved once is not with you anymore and loves someone else.
People also usually tend to face identity crisis post a breakup and also start pondering about what went wrong in their relation. They begin to have a negative mindset about love and relations. People also tend to have a fear of getting into any kind of relation or have emotional attachment with anyone which is commonly known as Philophobia. This also makes them trust less or they prefer to be left alone. Heartbreak changes a person more than anyone can imagine. It can make a fun-loving person dull or an intelligent person dumb.
How to support a heartbroken friend?
To all the love birds out there, a fair warning before loving, never love someone for the sake of loving. Love only when you have the guts to fight for it and the patience to take it forward. Never make any promises when you do not have the courage or the power to fulfill them. And to everyone who know such people, never make fun or undermine their pain. You have no idea the battles they are fighting within. They might look normal but no one ever is and mocking them will worsen things. Getting over a breakup is a long process and as friends make sure you help them in every way possible.
The writer Mr. Varun is a student and this is his first attempt at writing a blog. Please do read, like, share and show him some love in the comments section down below.
Profuse apologies for being AWOL. I was on a trip. The blogs to come shall contain a detailed account of what I’ve been upto. Until then stay tuned.
What I carried with me on the trip: