Hawaiian, Filipino, and Samoan Cultures
by Brenda Kalata, PA certified CASSP trainer in Cultural Competence
ALL babies are beautiful. Love "cures" all. All children have the same
developmental needs. All babies have needs and wants, are the mantras
of those of us who work with children in the foster care system. Only
the second statement lets us down, over and over... but not always.
When we work with children who come from homes different than ours, who
celebrate different holidays, have different hair and skin needs, who
seem to have a different set of priorities, who relate warmer or more
cooly to adults and/or other children, we wonder and often worry "what's
wrong?" or "what should/can I do?"
Culture is the "major organizer" of a child's development. In some cultures
children remain dependent longer than they do in the dominant white culture
of the United States. In some cultures children are severly disciplined
for disagreeing with an adult or questioning a teacher. In some cultures,
children are expected to take care of smaller children in the family (
even in the extended family), and this is not seem as parental neglect.
In the Filipino culture, there are three major values and common themes
which dominate a family and the society. It affects how the adults interact
with other adults and children, and how children are brought up and how
they are expected to behave.
- EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS AND SECURITY is to be found in the FAMILY... first
and foremost. Strangers should not watch one's children; even if the
adult is a single parent and needs to work, a member of the family or
extended family is looked for to provide childcare. This can include
an older sibling or a live-in maid, called a "yaya."
From birth to about the age of 5 years, children are loved and cuddled
and physically given affection. Over 66% of Filipino mothers still
breastfeed their baby, often to 12-18 months of age.
Baptism is an important ritual during the first year of the child's
life, even with those who believe in "aswangs"... witches and other
supernatural beings who can cause illness, deformity, accidents, and
death. The sponsors ( ninong and ninang ) become, as they do in the
Latino and Hispanic cultures, COMPADRES, literally coparents, and
play an important part in the child's life. Even if the compadres
are not related by blood, should there be trouble in a family, a child
starts getting into serious behavior in school or in the neighborhood,
etc., the compadres may take the child to stay with them for awhile.
Rather than being seen as parental neglect, parents are seen as being
caring and prudent, and concerned about the child and his/her future.
It is a quasi-kinship relationship but not recognized by most child
welfare agencies; a form of fostering, it is called having "hijos
de crianza", children in care, by Latinos and Filipinos.
Children are taught to trust the family but to be wary of strangers.
Between the ages of 2 and 5, most Filipino children are disciplined
if they act inappropriately, and more structure is imposed in their
lives to ensure conformity and obedience to elders, adults and older
children who may be assigned to watch out for them. Until then, children
are fed when they're hungry, go to sleep when they're tired, and play
when they want.
Corporal punishment is used sparingly. Scolding, shouting, and shaming
the child are accepted practices. Praise is seldom given since good
behavior is expected. It is AGAINST traditional practices to praise
or give rewards in public or in front of others who are not family
members. This is simliar to other Asian countries' child rearing practices.
However, children, if the occassion warrants, are punished in public
so that others will see that poor behavior is not tolerated by the
family. Older siblings may yell and punish a younger sibling; this
is part of their function within the family structure.
Children who may be in a dangerous situation are often removed quickly
and with no explanation, and may be sent to a member of the extended
family or to their godparents' home. The belief is that there are
certain things which a child does not need to know.
Children are taught not to look an adult in the eyes if being scolded
and reprimanded, and definately not to argue or talk back. Again,
this practice is done in traditional Latino/Hispanic homes and some
African American homes as well. Doing so, making eye contact or talking
back, will result in serious consequences for the child as they are
major signs of disrespect.
Babies and toddlers up to the age of 3 or so, are permitted to sleep
in the same bed as their parent(s). Toilet training is not pushed
at an early age, and many Filipino children are not trained until
after the age of four. It is at this time that they will join a sibling
to sleep, or if the family can afford it, have a bed of their own.
- APPROVAL BY AUTHORITY FIGURES AND BY SOCIETY is developed by parents
as a desirable goal for their child(ren). This aids in schooling and
in getting a job when the child becomes an adolescent.
Social acceptance is very important, and being treated with respect
is crucial. Getting along with others to gain this acceptance means
learning to avoid conflict and confrontation. Confrontation is seen
as a very undesireable personality trait, and can cause a child or
adult to become a pariah in the Filipino community.
Children are taught to be sensitive to the feelings and opinions
of others, even if they personally do not agree. The parents and older
siblings model the behavior of how to change conversations or behaviors
so as not to cause others any inconvienence or hurt feelings. This
type of behavior, much different from what the dominant society teaches
( be an individual, stand up for yourself, be competitive), ensures
smooth interpersonal relationships...at least on the surface. There
is a Tagalog (a Filipino dialect) proverb which translated says, "
It doesn't matter if you don't love me, just don't shame me."
The Filipino culture has three ways of maintaining smooth interpersonal
- PAKIKISAMA - getting along with others in order to insure and
maintain group cohesiveness and consensus
- EUPHEMISMS - using an agreeable or inoffensive word rather than
a harsh, indelicate, taboo, or unpleasant word
- GO-BETWEENS or MIDDLEMEN to help solve problems or resolve conflicts
( neighbor between neighbor, boss and employeer, etc.) this is to
avoid confrontation, permanent hurt feelings, and shaming the other
with a face-to-face encounter.
- ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL BETTERMENT is highly sought after; the child is
to be better, succeed, and have more than the parents. This brings pride
and status to the entire family, immediate and extended; again another
Asian cultural value. This explains why education is highly valued,
or failing the opportunity to get a good education, a good job position.
By doing so, the child is repaying a debt of gratitude to his/her parents
and relatives who have brought him into the world and may have sacrificed
greatly so that the child would have opportunities denied to the parents.
Learning English then, in a country where business is conducted
in English, becomes a necessity for the child and forced onto the
child as soon as he is of school age; it is unimportant for the parent(s)
to do so if they are able to support the family without its (English)
It is crucial not to show problems to outsiders... therapy is regarded
with much suspicion and little cooperation.
All the emphasis upon not showing others there may be problems in
the family, "putting on a good face" so to speak, creates great stress
upon children, especially the adolescents. Avoiding conflict, "turning
the other cheek" is often seen as being weak and a hypocrite, and
very different from what they see their non-Filipino peers doing.
Filipino American unwed teenage females have the highest percentage
of births for teens from Asian cultures living in the U.S. The percentage
is 1.1% for Chinese Am. teen females and 2.7% for Japanese Am. female
Adolescents experience role confusion, they want to be assimmilated
or at least acculturate, and their physical apparance can create problems
because of ethnic identification. Filipinos are often perceived by
"Americans" as being poor, lazy, able only to do yard work or housework,and
without the mental capacities or means to achieve in a competitive
society. These negative, derogatory sterotypes cause many Filipino
youths to try to pass themselves off as members of other Asian ethnic
groups who do not have such a cultural stance against competition
or negative misconceptions in the western society.
Filipino youths, particularly in the state of Hawaii, are overrepresented
in gangs. Their BARKADA - peer group- is social in nature and takes
the place of their family members who all may be busy working or living
Traditionally, Filipino girls were taught not to bathe or wash their
hair during menustration ( also something quite common in the lower
socioeconomic immigrants from Hispanic/Latino countries). Boys were
circumcised by someone in the community who was skilled at this. This
occurred without the parents knowing when it would happen or by whom.
The arrangements were made by the boy's peer group and older male
siblings, and indicated that his peer group now accepted him as an
The Hawaiian culture's approach to child rearing is simliar in many
ways to the Filipino with one notable exception. They also believe
in social cooperation... not individual competition and glorification.
The basic unit of society is also the extended family, called 'o hana.
Sibling childcare and peer socialization is seem as more important
than developing "school" skills at two or three years. Babies are
babied, and with food having a symbolic value, often are overfed.
Good behavior is not praised, it is expected, as is total respect
and obedience to parents and other adults. And like the Filipino culture,
co-sleeping with parents, "aunties", grandparents, or other siblings
is done because of the value placed upon physical closeness and affection...emotional
intimacy is acted upon in acceptable ways rather than with words of
The huge difference between the Hawaiian traditional childrearing
and the other two cultures mentioned in this article, is that in the
Hawaiian culture when a child becomes a toddler (age 2 or shortly
thereafter ), the child is basically ignored during its waking hours
by the adult family members. They are expected to become self-sufficient
and function independently of adults...older siblings take on the
caregiving of the toddlers. This leads to "strong interpersonal negociating"
and social skills. There is a high development of laanguage skills.
This interdependence among the children of different ages within a
family lends itself to a cooperative learning environment and "peer
mentoring" when they reach school age. If a toddler gets in an adult's
way, there is usually swift, physical consequences, not the verbal
scolding one sees among the Filipinos. The Samoans as well use physical
consequences as a discipline technique.Whining, clinging, demanding
toddlers are not acceptable in traditional Hawaiian family systems.
Western and American Samoa are part of what is called Polynesia.
Traditionally, these were matiarchial societies, with wealth being
based upon land and social status. Children were loved and valued
during infancy, with each child being allowed to develop at his/her
own pace in areas such as walking, talking and toilet training. Children
are held and cuddled and comforted. The extended family was involved
with the care of the child and playing with him. Children who come
from these environments where there were many others, including adults,
to care for them or give them solace, often find themselves adrift
when they are put into a "typically American family" with 2 adults
and one or two other children. Respect is expected... respect for
other children as well as adults. Adults are not only figures of authority
but protectors as well.
The values of humility, kindness and generosity are highly prised
and encouraged in the development of the child. Interpersonal relationships
are more highly valued than individual achievements. Unfortunately,
this culture more than the others, has been sharply thrust (rather
than a gradual easing) into the 20th century and Western culture.
Land is bought for pennies and dollars for tourist attractions, the
"natives" are largely undereducated compared to their Western counterparts,
and have few skills which command high wages. The rural way of life
of coexisting with nature and living off the land has not sufficed
in today's world. There are many social problems; suicide, substance
abuse and alcoholism is high, simliar to that which some Native American
tribes experience. Extended families are disappearing, families are
getting smaller with young children left to fend for themselves without
older siblings to care for them. Strict discipline and adherence to
the values of respect and personal dignity are giving way to permissive
parenting and high numbers of teenage pregnancies, a high divorce
rate, and child abuse and neglect. Still, hurting a child without
"reasonable cause" is not acceptable. There are cultural rules and
guides to determine a child's punishment for different types of misbehavior.
The age of the child is also taken into account. Parents who do not
correct their child for stealing or lying or disrespect with corporal
punishment are still viewed as being poor parents, neglecting their
parental role. When a Samoan family moves to the states and utilizes
what was acceptable (and expected), in Samoa when dealing with their
child(ren), child welfare often is called. The stressors of being
in a new country, trying to compete economically, often living in
crowed urban areas without other family members to help relieve the
stress of child caregiving, leads to more and more cases of reported
child neglect, abandonment, and abuse.
While there have been many social and economic changes among all
three of these cultures, one of the last traditional areas to change
is that of child care and child rearing. Often these are in conflict
with what is deemed acceptable here.
In all three cultures, food is important as a sign of hospitality
and the ability to take care of your family. There is a dependence
upon fish, root vegetables (starches such as taro, tapioca, yams,
manicoa) and fruit. Rice is important in the Filipino culture. Asian
culinary influences are evident in Filipino cooking, with much of
it simliar to Vietnamese, with fish stews and greens being used. In
all three, children were often directly involved with the buying or
gathering of the food, if not the actual preparation. Having foster
children help out in the kitchen or help select items when going grocery
shopping helps give them a sense of importance. But, as with other
groups who have come into contact with American culture, many of the
children of thesthree groups have been exposed to and developed a
taste for french fries, salt, sugar, McDonald's and candy...sugar
in all form. Remember Deborah Hage and Nancy Thomas and the theory
of bonding with sugar? . To many of the children from secondary, non-western
cultures, sugar means love, money, acceptance.
Fostering transculturally can be a real challenge, but a wonderful
learning experience... for everyone involved!