As young people reach adolescence, young people experience changes that can be overwhelming. Having their parents as allies can give them the security they need.
Help, my son entered adolescence! Perhaps this phrase is haunting your head now that your child has gone from being a sweet and loving child to a fickle teenager you don’t know how to deal with. Do not despair, it is a matter of arming yourself with patience and having enough information to overcome those difficult years.
Adolescence: stage of changes
The adolescent period is characterized by the physiological, psychological, cognitive and social changes to which the young person has to adjust. It usually occurs between the ages of 10 and 14 for girls and 12 and 16 for boys. Perhaps it is convenient to dwell a little on some of these changes and how to face them with your children:
1. Physiological changes
They start thanks to an increase in the production of hormones. The outer transformations are easy to recognize; the internal ones, however, begin before any physical changes are evident. According to the modern scientific sense, puberty begins with the gradual growth of the ovaries (and organs related to them, such as the uterus) in women, and of the prostate gland and seminal vesicles in men. Regarding physical changes, it is essential:
to. Talk to young people about the changes that will take place in their bodies. The information they do not receive at home, they will look elsewhere, with the probability that it is wrong or distorted. It is better that you inform yourself and resolve your concerns at home.
b. Provide them with security. As we all know, in this period of life in girls, breasts and hips develop; In boys, growth of the scrotum and testicles may begin to be noticed. These visible changes can generate certain insecurity in them, so it is important to support them by providing security, especially when there is an early or late development.
c. Explain in advance the processes involved in the development of the body during puberty. It is important that your children know the processes that will soon take place in their body and that this is normal and healthy, as is the case of menarche (the beginning of menstrual periods) in girls and nocturnal emissions of seminal fluid in boys. children (nocturnal pollutions). They are events for which you and your children must be prepared.
2. Emotional Changes
Adolescence is a stage of adaptation for both the young person and the parents themselves. This, coupled with hormonal flows, causes sudden emotional changes. The young person can go, in a second, from a deep sadness to an overflowing joy. Therefore, a balance is necessary between being close to listen to you or to help you if you need it and, at the same time, being far enough away to give you the freedom you seek. It is important that you consider that individuals at this stage:
to. They care a lot about their physical appearance, about the way others see them . When trying to find their own identity they can try different ways of dressing. At this stage, young people look for a dress code that differentiates them from older people, which gives them a sense of identity. For this reason, it is good to allow them to play with these fashions a bit even if they are a bit strange in our opinion, of course, taking care that their way of dressing does not affect their life.
b. The opinion of your friends becomes very important . For them, belonging to a social group is essential. This can be good if the social group in which he operates helps him generate positive thoughts and develop properly. As parents, we must be aware that there are no negative manipulations by colleagues that lead to behaviors that are harmful to themselves.
c. They will seek to spend a long time on social media. Today social networks have caught the young. For them, the interaction on Facebook or What’s app is as vital as the face-to-face coexistence with their colleagues. These tools have become a means of communication that can be beneficial but, in some cases, also detrimental to them. Take the time to get to know these networks so you can know what your children see on the internet. In addition, it is important to control the time that young people spend on the internet or with the cell phone, always seeking a balance between their social life and the use of networks.
d. They need to be heard . It is important that you keep in mind that many times we need to listen beyond what young people literally tell us. We must be aware of their body movements, attitudes, the sensitive part of the message that they transmit when speaking. Teens today are in many dangers, and the best way to protect them is to listen carefully. Remember to save your comments until they have freely expressed all their ideas: if you show anger or rejection when they are just beginning to tell you their concerns or mistakes, you will not have a chance to know the end of the story.
and. They need respect . Respect their opinions. If you think they are very wrong and need guidance, you can start your advice with something like, “I think you have reason to think that, but …” or, “I understand you, however …”. This will make you feel confident expressing your feelings knowing that you will not be judged or rejected for what you think.
It is important that there is an adequate communication channel between the adolescent and his parents, where there is respect and trust. Make your relationship with them a bond where they are educated with love and the necessary strength to allow them to grow while protecting them from the dangers that threaten youth today.