At what age should you talk to your child about sexual abuse? It’s best to start talking as early as possible, using age-appropriate conversations. Here are the basics for parents and caretakers.
It’s helpful to learn the facts about healthy sexual development as well as child sexual abuse. First be sure you are comfortable talking about the topic. If you are comfortable using the words, your child will feel that and know that they can talk to you. A conversation like this doesn’t need to be a big “talk,” but can be something you address gradually. If you are relaxed and easy to talk to, you can be an approachable adult who your child can ask questions or voice any concerns.
It’s also helpful to know the typical behaviors for each stage of a child’s development. Know what the normal stages of development are for preschool, elementary, middle school children and young teens. Learn the signs of sexual abuse. It will be easier to identify normal behaviors and behaviors that might be of concern. Don’t wait until it is too late to learn the signs of sexual abuse.
Conversations with your child or teen should be open, casual and ongoing. As your child’s understanding of the world grows, conversations can also grow.
Discussions about sexuality and sexual abuse can start long before a child reaches puberty. The sooner a parent initiates conversations about healthy sexual development, how the body changes and sexual abuse, the better. Here some tips on starting the conversation.
As a child becomes a teenager, conversations about preventing sexual abuse can become more complicated. Teenagers will begin to look for relationships outside the family for friends, security and advice. They also may be confused or embarrassed about their own developing sexuality, which makes talking to parents or guardians more difficult. As teens go through these stages of exploration, they are also more at risk, so answering questions and being approachable is one way to help keep teens safe.
One way to protect your children is to create a family safety plan. A safety plan gets everyone in the family on the same page and lets you begin important conversations about boundaries, healthy interactions and how to talk about changing expectations as children grow older. Here are some ideas to get started:
Organizations working with children and teens focus on creating safe environments for them to grow, explore, learn and have fun. Part of their commitment is to ensure children and teens are safe while participating in organization-sponsored activities.
Safety at school is important. Whether at the K-12 or college level, schools offer a unique opportunity to address sexual abuse, sexual assault and sexual misconduct for students in their care — both in preventing and responding to sexual assault and misconduct.