Did the title catch your attention? Good, today I want to talk about things we can do as parents to encourage failure. To help our kids understand it’s part of the process and to help them embrace it so they can learn from it. I’ve been talking about the fear of failure quite a bit over the past few months because it’s something that so many people struggle with. Fear can be healthy and necessary in some situations, especially ones that could save our lives but for the most part, the fear of failure holds us back. In my personal experience, the fear of failure has held me back longer than failure itself, that’s when it becomes a problem. I want to challenge you to encourage your kids to take opportunities that might lead to failure. It’s through this process that they learn and grow into their greatest potential.
- Perspective of failure- what relationship do your children have with failure? Do they see failure as an opportunity to learn? The best way to teach this might be with examining your own relationship with failure. Do you let them see you fail? How do you handle your failures? Do you approach it as a lesson? Your kids are always observing and learning, the way you respond to the situations is teaching them. Are you teaching what you want them to get out of that lesson?
- Praise the process not the results- As good as it feels to be told how smart we are, how fast we are, and how talented we are, we can’t build upon those traits when we are trying to learn from failure. What concrete steps did they take that took bravery, innovation, creativity, and perseverance? How can you compliment them on the effort that they put into the process even though it didn’t yield the results they anticipated? What questions can you ask that will help them see what they put into the process?
- Failure is part of the process- A lot of times the best way to learn is by getting something wrong. Whether it be through experience, a test, or just plain trial and error. Sometimes the most amazing things result from taking a risk of failing. Failure also teaches perseverance because sometimes you have to try things different ways, practice for hours, or give it all that you have every time before you get the results you anticipated. We know the names of some of the most innovative people in history because they weren’t afraid to fail.
- Failure isn’t final- Help your children understand the only way they fail is when they don’t try. If they don’t explore what they can learn from the failure, if they don’t take notes on what they could have changed, if they don’t see where something went wrong so they can try it differently, that’s where the failure lies. Even in the event they can’t try again or retake a test, if they were able to learn, then it wasn’t a failure.
What are your thoughts on this post? Is this something you currently do with your children? Is it something you’ll consider doing? Has this made you reflect on your own perspective of failure? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments and get the conversation started.
Do you have anything you’d like to see in a #momlife post? Leave your suggestion in the comments and I’ll try to incorporate it in a future post!
To explore other parenting posts, click the photo. You might enjoy this post on quality time if you missed it last week.