Model Essay #3 + Explanation
Model Expository Essay
Grammar and Writing Tips
Topic Prompt: What are the most important inventions in the last 100 years?
Title: Important Inventions in the Past
“Necessity is the mother of invention.” This quote is commonly used to explain how another miraculous invention was discovered.
[This first part of the introduction includes a quote as a hook. A hook is a way to capture the reader’s interest and add coherence to your essay.]
The main hooks to begin an essay with are
1. posing a question or two,
2. quoting a relevant proverb or saying,
3. mentioning a startling statistic or fact, or
4. telling a short story.
Throughout history, many inventions have been created. [This sentence is a very general statement to introduce the topic.]
The Industrial Revolution started in the late 1700s, and since then humankind has been developing at an exponential rate. [This sentence is a less general statement to narrow the topic.]
Truly amazing and useful devices, such as the steam engine and telegraph, were invented. [This sentence is a more specific statement to guide the reader towards a thesis.]
In the last 100 years, many inventions and innovations have been created that make society’s life better, and four devices stand out as the most useful: the jet airplane, the television, the laptop computer, and the cell phone. [This sentence is the most specific and it is the thesis statement.]
BODY PARAGRAPH 1
The first most useful invention is the airplane, invented in 1903 by the Wright brothers. [‘invented in 1903 by the Wright brothers is an appositive. Appositives are reduced adjective clauses, and they give more information and context about a person or organization.]
The airplane has transformed not only this society, but also the entire world. [The words after ‘not only’ and ‘but also’ must have parallel construction; in this case, both are nouns phrases]
Airplanes make it possible to travel long distances in a few hours, whereas before it took days or weeks to travel by horseback. In fact, a plane enables people to travel over high mountains and deep oceans with ease. It is as if the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans were small rivers and the Himalaya and Rocky Mountains were tiny hills to jump over. In addition, with the invention of the plane, the world is smaller because a person can now effortlessly travel from one country to another to work, study, or take vacations. [‘In fact’ and ‘in addition’ are all transition words to guide the reader.]
BODY PARAGRAPH 2
The second most important invention in the last century is the computer, and specifically the laptop computer with an internet connection. The computer was invented in the mid-1900s, but in the 1980s the personal computer transformed how people use it. Because a laptop computer is small, portable, and can store large amounts of data, it is useful for business and study. [comma is required after the adverb phrase that begins with because.]
From email to ecommerce and from ebooks to downloading movies and games, the personal computer has transformed everyone’s life. Computer software programs make it possible to keep track not only of business accounting and inventory, but also to buy and sell online. The Internet connects computers with a network of websites, and people can communicate on the computer with email, blogs, wikis, and even phone conversations. [Many examples and specifics are given to support the topic sentence. ]
BODY PARAGRAPH 3
This leads into the third most useful invention, the cell phone. [Segue into the next paragraph, if possible.]
Popularized in the 1990s, the cell phone keeps people safer and more connected. People can talk or send text messages to friends and family when they are far away, even in another country. Other examples of the cell phone’s usefulness are that drivers can call to let someone know they will be delayed if they get stuck in traffic or call for help if their car breaks down. In addition, phones often have Internet browsers, so people can stay up-to-date with news and events. Also, with camera phones people can take and share pictures of friends and family easily. [Many examples and specifics are given to support the topic sentence. ]
[‘Other examples’, ‘In addition’, and ‘Also’ are all transition words to guide the reader.]
BODY PARAGRAPH 4
The fourth most useful invention is the television. With many channels to choose from, and literally thousands of programs, the learning possibilities are endless. Although not all programs are educational, many programs are, and people can learn encyclopedic amounts of knowledge and information.
['Although not all programs are educational' is a concession which makes the argument stronger.]
News is available 24 hours a day, so when important events happen in another part of the world, people can find out easily. This is in contrast to the past when it took days, months, or even years to find out the news from faraway places. Also, comedy and dramatic shows let us enjoy the funny moments in life and deal more effectively with the serious ones.
[Many examples and specifics are given to support the topic sentence. ]
[‘Although’, ‘This is in contrast', and ‘Also’ are all transition words to guide the reader.]
In conclusion, the airplane, television, laptop computer and cell phone are all useful inventions. Although there are many inventions to choose from, these four have dramatically transformed the world. All these inventions are connecting people to other people, places, and ideas. [These sentences summarize and restate the thesis.] It will be interesting to see what is invented in the future!