You may have heard the term “psychache.” It is a state of psychological pain and feelings of fear, anguish, guilt, loneliness, panic, and helplessness. All these symptoms lead to severe discomfort and make a person go through stress and depression. Such a condition can affect a person’s mental and physical health.
It is not easy to comfort some who is angry, stressed, or depressed. At first, you may feel unsure and awkward about what to say or how to calm someone. However, you don’t have to say something poetic or profound. Your words should remain tranquil as well as full for compassion. So, do you want to know how to comfort someone? Read this article!
Don’t afraid of saying the wrong thing. After all, you are making efforts to comfort your loved one or friend or someone else you don’t know. Remember, many people suffer from clinical major depressive disorders.
It means they can have mild to severe symptoms of depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. So, yes, you must proceed with precaution while trying to comfort someone. The simple way to talk to someone directly is by asking a person if he or she is sad.
Likewise, you must not accuse, blame, or threaten the person you want to comfort. Sometimes, your family member or friend can’t overcome the situation. You, despite making efforts, fail to help him. As a result, you may feel angry and start threatening your friend. Well, even if you feel frustrated at the outcome, you should stay calm.
Care for him or her
Surely, you care for your friend or family during the crisis. However, when you say something like “I care for you,” then your friend may feel comfort slightly. If your friend is going through a financial crisis, he or she may think the entire world is against them.
Approach to your friend and say to him something special. For example, you can say, “I love you,” “I am here, don’t worry,” and “whatever you need, just tell me,” etc. A gentle touch of your hand or a good tight hug will also ease his emotions for some time.
Also, when you do this, you give him or her a message that you are there for them. The important thing that you need is to reach out to your friend or family member. Then, tell them that they matter a lot to you.
Tell Him or Her you are ready to help
Stress, depression, financial problems, etc. put a lot of pressure on the person. It can affect an individual’s physical health and emotional wellbeing. However, you can approach your friend or family member and ask for what has happened exactly. Even if your friend resists to tell you about his problems, you need to stay calm and keep asking him.
Your friend or the person whom you want to comfort may not accept your offer. The primary reason can be not putting a burden on your shoulders. Although this is a good sign for him, as a friend, it is your responsibility to offer help.
For example, you can help him with grocery shopping or housework. Also, you can give him some company for a while to keep him calm and relax. If your friend needs a doctor, make sure you make all the necessary arrangements.
Moreover, if you say something like “can I help you,” then it is a bit strange. Instead of saying this, you can express your feeling correctly when you say, “I want to take you to the doctor for proper treatment.” Now, this is something that shows proximity and closeness.
Take him or her to the doctor
If your friend is close to you and suffering from mental illness or some trauma, you need to take him to the doctor. Even if he refuses, you will have to act smartly and take him to the doctor.
Treatment for stress and depression is essential. If he is not feeling well and want to see a doctor, then it is easy for you to take him to the emergency department. Also, encourage your friend about his condition and tell him that it will go away.
After you have taken him to the doctor, make sure you tell the physician about his condition. Also, the doctor must know everything about your friend, such as medical history, past events, recent traumas, financial situation, etc.
Telling the doctor about your friend means accurate diagnoses. The doctor will then give your friend a prescription about the medicines that he will need to take in the coming days. Surely, you can’t stay with your friend all the time. However, you can visit him daily and take care of his medications. Within a few days, your efforts will yield a positive outcome and calm down your friend.
Talk to Them
Sometimes, it is essential to talk to your loved one of friend to comfort them. If your friend is alone and needs someone for a talk, you can be that person. Make sure you listen to his or her worries and offer them your support and help. A real person always takes care of his or her friends, especially during the time of crisis.
Listening helps make their emotional and mental pain more bearable. If he needs some money to pay his monthly mortgage, you should help him. Here, you need to act carefully and find out whether or not he needs money for a mortgage.
Listen to your friend without interrupting him. You have to fix things for him because you care for him. So much so, you must comfort him so that he copes with his feelings and overcome helplessness.
Sometimes, people don’t like to talk. If this is the situation with your friend, you can give him a useful piece of advice and end the conversation. It will make him feel comfortable. For example, if you have gone through a breakup recently, you can ask him to join you for a beach trip in the evening. Make sure you amuse him and tell him something like, “Don’t worry buddy, you will find another girl soon.”
“He or she matters” Reminder
You must remind your friend that he matters a lot to you. Medications alone do not work for treating depressive illnesses. A person also needs support to help balance his or her emotions. You can adjust their feelings through your words of compassion and sympathy.
However, it does not mean that you show-off and represent yourself superior to him or her. Sympathetic behavior means encouraging someone and boosting their self-esteem. If you can tell your friend sincerely about the ways that he matters to you, then realize him that he lives in your heart. Also, you must say to him that you can do anything for him.
Understand his or her problems
As mentioned above, a true friend is the one who listens to his friend. Well, knowing alone can’t comfort your friend. You must dig deep into his problems and try to come up with sophisticated solutions. Before you tell him, “I understand,” you should have a solution in your brain already.
For example, if your friend is having a hard time paying his home mortgage, you can help him. But, you can save your friend from foreclosure when you have money to pay on his behalf. So, if you don’t have the solution, don’t say that you understand his problems. You can better understand your friend’s situation if you have previously gone through the same problem.
Moreover, if your friend is suffering from a major depressive disorder, then let us tell you that there are different types of depression. Again, you can take him to a psychologist and try some homemade methods like meditation and yoga, to comfort him.
Everyone goes through bad times and feel anxiety. Human beings are the best of creatures, which means they must help each other and other creatures. Having a great friend is a real blessing for everyone living in this world.
Discomfort, sadness, and worry lead to stress and depression. Chronic depression can affect a person’s physical health. A deteriorating mental and physical health can lead to heart attack, stroke, and kidney failure.
Do you want to see your loved one or a friend going through depression and sadness? Well, we know you want them to stay happy and safe all the time. Anyway, if someone goes through hard times, you must help them.
Comforting some requires a compassionate heart and loving words. If you care for someone, you will spontaneously do good things for them. As a result, they will feel comfortable, relaxed, and content. Lastly, following the above methods can help you comfort other people adequately.
David Nilsen is the former editor of Fourth & Sycamore. He is a member of the National Book Critics Circle. You can find more of his writing on his website at davidnilsenwriter.com and follow him on Twitter as @NilsenDavid.