Most kids these days are not self-reliant or self-starters.
This isn’t just some old man yelling about how the new generation is a bunch of pansies because they didn’t walk 10 miles to school in the snow either. (I’m not very old and no one walks anywhere where I live.) No, tangible evidence continues to come out about how kids are more dependent and feeble nowadays. For anecdotal evidence, find a 10-year-old and try to pry him away from his smartphone, tablet, or computer screen and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Kids in many other societies (specifically preindustrial societies) are much more independent, interested in learning, and helpful around the house without being asked.
What’s the reason for such a huge discrepancy across cultures? The answer is complicated but part of the reason is that adults in other places allow their kids to play with knives.
In a recent article called “Playing With Knives: The Socialization of Self-Initiated Learners,” anthropologist David Lancy took a look at how children develop and learn across different cultures. He analyzed observations about parent and child interactions in more than 100 preindustrial societies.
In many of those societies, he found children to be much more independently motivated to learn and help out with chores. Part of the reason is that adults have a laissez-faire attitude toward parenting and allow kids to take part in risky behavior, including playing with knives and tools.
In one case from North Borneo in Southeast Asia, the Western anthropologists were horrified at what they saw. Here’s an excerpt from that report:
We were faced daily with Dusun parents raising their children in ways that violated the basic beliefs by which we were raised…We consistently checked our…exclamations of concern or disgust…and [resisted] the temptation to take a “dangerous” object, such as a knife, from a toddler…knowing that in terms of the local culture, children are believed to die from accidents whether they play with knives or not and besides, as one Dusun father put it, “How can you learn to use a knife if you do not use it” (Williams, 1969).
So that might be a little too far on the other end of the spectrum, especially since some cultures don’t mind if a child loses a few fingers along the way to self-sufficiency and education.
But there’s a lot of evidence out there that shows children who are free to explore on their own and play with tools will learn responsibility, be more likely to pitch in, and have more motivation to learn.
Yet the Western world still can’t get over the fact that knives (and freedom in general) are dangerous and should therefore not be given to children, despite the fact that this is how things were as little as a few decades ago. While we may not want to go back to the days where poor Ralph above was working 16-hour shifts at the canning factory and losing fingers left and right, a little freedom wouldn’t hurt.
If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need more evidence that we should let kids explore the world more (and play with knives), but unfortunately, the way our society is built, that’s becoming increasingly frowned upon. It’s no surprise Bear Grylls was grilled when he allowed his son to play with knives.
At this point, all we can do is keep offering our own children more freedom and responsible access to tools. Just be prepared for the gasps and dirty looks of other parents as Jimmy takes out his pocket knife to cut up an apple for himself.