by Saoirse O'Mara
Many children don't tell anyone when they are harassed by peers or maybe even teachers. The question is: Why not? Is their fear so great that they rather put up with their bullies?
Let's have a look inside the head of a bullying victim:
They have hit me again at school. Why can't they just stop? I have done nothing to them ... and my teachers don't say anything. But when I tell them about it, the bullying will only get worse.
I don't want to go to school. I'm sick, my head aches, I feel terrible ... when I only think about school, I want to cry. Why do my parents force me to go to school? Can't they see that I'm suffering?
I wished someone would notice how I feel ... I can't tell anyone. I'm afraid they won't believe me. Why can't mom just hug me once?
Many victims of bullying are afraid - either of their parents (that they don't believe them, that they get angry with their children for being so "weak", ...) or their bullies. That's why they often don't say anything about their suffering. Instead, their bodies send signs: headaches, sickness, depressions.
It is essential that both parents and teachers watch out for signs of bullying because the victims are caught in their fear and won't seek help on their own.
Anyone can become a victim of bullying. The best thing parents can do to prevent bullying is to help their children grow to be self-conscious and develop strong personalities and empathy. Bullies tend to choose victims who seem weak for some reason or other. Weak persons are less likely to defend themselves and thus it is more satisfying for the bullies to harass their victim.
Let's listen to the thoughts of a bullying victim again after someone noticed that he is bullied:
I'm so glad they asked me ... now I could finally tell them. They really want to help me and find a solution with me.
Mom has comforted me all evening after she found out. I'm feeling better now even though we don't know what to do next. At least I'm not alone anymore.
Talk to your children! Most victims won't talk to you unless you ask them but they will be glad when they have finally told you the truth!