Annie Boate, leading coaching in schools expert and author of A Coaching Revolution out 26 April 2018, offers her top 10 tips for parents on how to coach children through the stressful exam season.
Talk to them about how they’ve learnt something they’re good at and get them to identify what helped them to learn and remember it. Now ask them how they could use the same strategies to learn the new information. Remember we’re all unique, so don’t force your best methods and techniques on them.
- Help them make a weekly revision timetable
Don’t just tell them to do it or leave them to get on with it and assume it’ll happen! The more they feel the timetable is ‘their baby’, the more likely they are to follow it. Make sure the timetable fits around their regular commitments so it’s not daunting and overwhelming for them. Otherwise it’ll be impossible for them to stick to it.
- Break revision sessions into short slots
The brain can only focus 100 percent for short bursts of time. A good guideline is to use the child’s age as the number of minutes for each timetabled revision slot. I recommend using a timer and make sure they stick to this.
- Give them timed breaks
This will allow their brain to recover before the next revision slot. I recommend a five-minute break after each of the first two slots, then a longer break of around 15-20 minutes after every three slots. (Repeat this pattern throughout the whole revision session).
- Recognise small steps forward
Encourage your child to mark off each successfully completed revision slot (eg. with a tick, sticker or stamp). Seeing their progress will motivate them and encourage them to keep going.
- Acknowledge your child’s stress
It’s easy to dismiss any doubts and fears when your child says things like, “This is too much…”, “I can’t do this…”, “I’m going to fail”. Instead, try to validate their feelings. Rather than saying, “Don’t be so silly…you’ll be fine!” etc, show them that you understand how they’re feeling. Reflect their emotions back to them by saying something like, “So you’re feeling stressed – is that right?” Then follow it up with a solution-focused question such as, “What could you do to feel less stressed?”
- Build their confidence
Attitudes are contagious so be positive, upbeat and let them know you believe 100 percent they can do it. Encourage your child to see exams as ‘an opportunity to show what they know and can do’ rather than a ‘threat’.
- Help your child overcome obstacles
If they’re struggling, ask what’s stopping them or getting in the way of their revision. Then ask how they could overcome it. Don’t provide the answers! It has to be their solution. Otherwise they’re far less likely to take action!
- Remind them that their revision WILL make a difference
It’s NEVER too late!
- Get your child to visualise success
Help your child to imagine themselves successfully taking the exam. Ask them to talk you through their ‘mental video’ from entering the exam room to receiving their results. Keep repeating this process to ‘mentally rehearse’ and dramatically increase their chances of success.
Annie Boate is a leading coaching in schools expert and author of A Coaching Revolution, which comes out on 26 April 2018.