Worried about someone with an eating disorder?
Call our helpline or email us for specific support and information about how to help.
Understanding how eating disorders affect people’s thinking and behaviours and relationships can be really helpful. Understanding how eating difficulties/problems with food can escalate into a serious illness means you can support and encourage them to seek help sooner.
Here are some strategies and tips that people have found helpful:
- Give time to listen to them, even if you think your friendship is being rejected
- Use basic listening and communication skills – warmth, non-judgmental acceptance, openness, honesty and understanding
- Don’t walk on eggshells or panic, but do take them seriously
- Talk to them, but take the focus off food. Listen to and explore wider concerns - how they feel about themselves, how they relate to others
- Think about what you say to them. “You’re looking better” may sound to them like “you’re getting fat now” – their worst nightmare coming true. Instead, choose a non-problematic aspect, e.g. “you're smiling today”
- Sensitively encourage them to be assertive and to express their emotions
- Recognise their strengths, value them for themselves
- Offer friendship, say that you care and try to include them in what you are doing. They may not agree to join in, but will feel valued as a person if you've asked
- Maintain clear boundaries - be clear and consistent, especially both parents together
- Try to establish realistic targets and standards
- Encourage them to take responsibility for their own lives. This will probably mean them taking a bit of a risk with things, rather than aiming for perfection
- Maintain balance in food / family / life – for them and for you. You will need some extra time for your interests and friendships, some time for self-care too.
Look at our Links & Resources page for further help and info.