history of man for nine months preceding his birth would,
probably, be far more interesting, and contain events
of greater moment, than all the threescore and ten years
that follow it.” --Samuel Taylor Coleridge,
and delight must have registered on my face as I listened
to a young couple in Albany, NY. The previous night
they’d heard me speak on the theme, “Every
Kid a Winner!” Now they were telling me about
a conversation they’d had with their three-year-old
son afterward. That conversation was prompted by comments
in my presentation about a book I had recently read,
and from which I took the Coleridge quote above. Here’s
of the book had jumped at me from the shelf of the Parkland/Spanaway
Library near my home in Washington State. It said,
Remember Birth by Dr. David Chamberlain
on! You gotta be kidding! I thought as I grabbed
the book from the shelf. The notion that babies might
remember being born flew in the face of much I’d
learned about the newborn in the my 1950s.college classes:
Child Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Educational
I still remember
this description: “The newborn infant
is a blank sheet—like the soft unmarked clay upon
which an ancient Sumerian scribe might impress the wedge-form
shapes of cuneiform letters.”
No way! Unmarked clay? Certainly not! Not according
to Dr. Chamberlain. Here was a respected researcher
saying the infant comes into our world with memories—and
stores memories of the process of getting here!
told about reactions of many children to questions such
as: “Do you remember being in mommy’s tummy?”
or “Do you remember being born?”
remembered that as he was being born there was a snake
in there. It got wrapped around his neck and he thought
he was going to die! He’d never been told about
the umbilical cord that had cut off the oxygen supply
to his brain. But he remembered and interpreted the
experience on the basis of his childish understanding
of what caused the problem.
girl remembered that she tried and tried to get born,
but “couldn’t get through the door.”
So they opened a window, and she came out through the
window! She had never heard it discussed that she had
been delivered by cesarean section.
In my presentation
in Albany, New York, as I talked about the special relationship
of a child to the biological mother, I told about Dr.
Chamberlain’s book and recounted stories he reported.
But I had never talked to anyone with personal experience
in such matters. Then, the next night, the young couple
came to me with their story.
Smith, after hearing you last night, we asked our son,
‘Do you remember being in Mommy’s tummy?’
he answered with a happy lilt in his voice. But his
no!’ he said, ‘I was very happy. And I was
like this!’ He placed his hands across his tummy,
tucked his head down on his chest, and pulled his knee
up and assumed a fetal position! Mr. Smith, we were
So was I!
I imagine that this was just the first of an on-going
flow of “baby birth remembrance” stories
I’d be told by parents attending Every Kid a Winner™
favorite story came the second night of a series
in a suburb of Dallas, TX.
reported, “After last night’s message, we
asked our little boy, ‘Do you remember being born?”
do you remember?”
remember the water, and the yarn, and I slid down the
tunnel, and came out like a choo-choo!”
almost certain the mother thought it was more like a
very slow freight! ?
interesting, but natural, that children frequently remember
the umbilical cord. And many recall astonishing details.
The cases continue to stack up—and they invariably
thrill my soul and leave me in awe of the wondrous treasure
a newborn is.
In the premier
edition of the free “The Family Minute E-zine,”
you’ll read the shocking answer a little boy in
Bend, Oregon gave when asked, “Do you remember
is it significant that many children remember birth?
1. It tells
us that babies come into our world with minds far better
developed and equipped than we’ve ever dared dream
2. It explains
the womb-created affinity of the child for the mother—and
accentuates our need to make the most of the fact that
she is “Number One” with the child.
3. It suggests
that experiences in the womb and during birth can enhance
or hinder the attitudes and development of the child.
4. It underscores
the great respect we should have for the preborn child
and its sanctuary in the womb.
5. It reinforces
our need to do what we can to minimize the child’s
trauma during and just after birth.
much more! There are exciting implications that provide
hope for children and families.
articles on this Web site and in “The Family Minute
E-zine,” we’ll discuss other examples of
babies remembering being born and talk about how these
matters can help us to equip babies to be all they were
born to be. Be sure to check back frequently and “stay
to see if your little one remembers birth? Here are
1. Wait until
the child’s verbal skill are adequately developed
before asking. Usually this means two to three years
2. Be sure
the atmosphere is calm and the child is relaxed. Don’t
bring it up when there are other children around who
may interfere or make fun of the child for what he or
3. If there
are other adults present, cue them in to what you’re
doing, and ask them to listen quietly, perhaps write
down what happens, but not react or jump into the discussion.
call the child by name and casually ask either, “Do
you remember being born?” or “Do you remember
being in Mommy’s tummy?”
5. No matter
what the child says, don’t overly react. Pay close
attention and respond calmly by asking, “What
was it like?” or “Then what happened?”
or “Why did you do that?” or a similar question
that will encourage the child to continue to reveal
what he or she remembers.
6. Thank the child for telling you about it. Don’t
“make a big deal” of it, but…
7. As soon
as you can, write down exactly what was said.
discuss the matter in the presence of other children
if you plan to ask them the same questions. You certainly
don’t want to start competition about who has
the best story about being born!
that there can be a wide range of answers. Some may
simply say, “uh-uh,” or “No.”
But be prepared for remarkable responses as well. The
Oregon mother mentioned in “The Family Minute
E-zine” certainly didn’t expect the answer
love to hear about the experiences you have
talking with your children about their remembering birth.
If appropriate, we might want to share your story with
other readers. If you’re interested in this possibility,
click the “GUIDELINES”
you continue to explore this Web site, you
might want to read the light-hearted “Baby’s
Diary” or the touching “A Story to Share.”
“Top Tip for Big People” tells of a life-changing
walk a dad made with his daughter. When you’re
ready to lose yourself in a delightful bit of historical
fiction, check out the award-winning novel about family
life in the 1930s, Turn Back Time. Just click
on “A Book in the Spotlight.” You can download,
without charge, a generous more-than-ninety-page portion
of this highly-acclaimed novel. Too, you might want
to visit our [FAMILY STORE]
to take a peek at our newest children’s picture
book, 1-2-3, Special Like Me! with its uplifting message
and magnificent illustrations from oil-on-canvas paintings
by the talented Donna Brooks. And, by all means, make
the most of the insights and suggestions in the no-cost
“The Family Minute" E-zine”
little ones special! We’re so happy that you’re
a part of the growing multitude determined to strengthen
families and help children reach their innate potential.
Please tell others about this site and “The Family
Minute Ezine.” And remember:
change the world tomorrow, love a child today!”
Philip Dale Smith